The Yugioh and Naruto Talk Show
by Yamino Tenshi 202
Summary: Random things the cast hate, love, or just feel like talking about while acting high. Cast: Yuki, Kyoko, Yami, Neji, Yugi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Kaiba.
1. Episode 1

Yuki: HI. I'm here with my friend Kyoko...

Kyoko: Hey peoples I also have account called Neji4ever

Yuki:...and we are writing a talk show. Here's the cast:

Yugi

Yami

Naruto

Sasuke

Neji

Kaiba

and a guest (Yami: who's evil!!!) appearance.

YUKI AND KYOKO: ENJOY PEOPLES! (WE'RE HIGH ON SUGAR WE THOUGHT OF THIS IN ALGEBRA RECENTLY ( COLLEGE COURSE)) AND WE'RE 13!!

* * *

Yami: We have two topics today. The first topic is... Richard Simmons!!! (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn)\ 

Naruto: That fucking bastard!!!!

Yugi:Why the hell are talking about Richard Simmons? (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn)

Sasuke: What the hell is up the 'Dun Dun Dunnnnnn' sound effect?

Kaiba: I checked the speakers before we came on the air.

Neji: WE'RE ON THE AIR?!?!?!?!?! #everyone nods# SHIT!!!!

Yuki: Guys we're bringing in our first guest #Kyoko walks in with Richard Simmons# (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn)

R.S: Hello everybody! How ya doing?

Eveyone (but Yami): Good.

R.S: #recieves glare from Yami# Yami! We meet again, you fucking bastard!

Yami: #evilly# The feeling's mutual, Richard Simmons (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn). Damn your evil theme music.

R.S: I see you haven't gotten over your defeat at DDR-XTREME.

Yami: #stands up from his seat# YOU KNOW YOU CHEATED, YOU #CENSORED#

R.S: Fine let's show everyone this #coughdoctoredcough# clip of our game of DDR-X.

Yami: No #pulls out his own video tape# I'll show them the real one right now.

Flashback clip

Yami meets Richard Simmons (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn) at the arcade.

"You're Yami Mutou right?" says the aerobics dude.

"Yes, I am." says said sexy Pharaoh. (Kyoko: I agree he's sexy but he's all yours Yuki. Yuki: #squeals# Thanx for being so understanding!)

"Then I challenge you to DDR-X," says the older dude. Yami agrees and the dance duel begins!

While they are dancing, Mr. Simmons drops a giant box of his Nutragrain bars in front of Yami. Said duelist cannot resist the smell of the snack bars so he jumps off the dance pad to get the snacks which give him a ton of bad scores for jumping off the pad.

Yami eats away at the snack bars, losing so much weight as he does so.

Mr. Richard wins and points to Yami on the ground, devouring the snack bars and having lost the game due to his addiction to the snacks. (Yuki: Yugi & I got him off of the addiction of Nutragrain bars.)

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I have the defeated the King of Games! He is a complete loser! Just like his little boyfriend and girlfriend and everyone else on the stupid talk show."

End flashback clip

Yami: And that's what happened. #everyone nods (knowing of the past addiction)#

Everyone: You bastard!!!!! How dare you insult us!!!!!

Yugi and Yuki: You cheated and Yami will kill you for that.

R.S: #evil laugh inserted here# But Yami will once again fall victim to the Nutragrain Bars. And become an anorexic!!!! (gasp in background) #throws a box of Nutragrain Bars in front of the Pharaoh#

Yami: #yawn#

R.S: WTF?!?!?!? How are you resisting the Nutragrain bars?!?!?!?!

Yami: Yugi and Yuki got me off my addiction SMARTASS!!!! #sees Neji, Sasuke, Kyoko, and Naruto with chakras building#

Naruto and Co.: May we?!?!

Yami: OK but don't kill him. That will be for the rest of us.

#ACTIONS HAVE BEEN CENSORED IN TERMS OF THE FCC# Cast: Fuck the FCC

Kyoko: And we're back. Our other topic is math!

Naruto: Who gives a fuck!

Sasuke: Naruto, math is important smart one. I bet you don't even know what 1 + 1 is.

Naruto: Sure I do. It's... uh.

Yuki and Kyoko: We learn everything about 1 or 2 years ahead. # show off their Standardized Tests Scores and smirk#

Kaiba: Screw math, I have money to pay people to do it for me.

Yami, Yugi and Neji: We just threaten people to do it for us.

Yugi: #Notices stares# What?! You don't think I can threaten people?!?! # Millenium Puzzle glows and unleashes the Silent Swordsman Lvl. 5 # (evilly) Who thinks I can't threaten?!?!?!

Yuki: I think somebody needs a timeout. # grabs Yugi by the ear and gets him out of the studio#

Neji: OK I think we're done for today. #to audience# See you next time!

Announcer: For a limited time, you can get a boxed set of Yami, Neji, Kaiba, Sasuke, Yugi, and Naruto chibis at the extremely low price of $19.95.

OFF AIR

Kaiba: I told you we don't need an announcer. We can advertise by ourselves. SECURITY!!!! #burly guys come in and take him to a deserted alley behind the studio#

Sasuke: Let's go watch them beat up that guy!

Yami and Neji: YAY!!!


	2. Episode 2

Yuki: HI. I'm here with Kyoko...

Kyoko: Hey peoples

Yuki: Here is Episode 2

Yugi, Yami, Kyoko, Yuki, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Kaiba,

and a guest (Yuki: who's evil!!!) appearance.

* * *

Yuki: Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, etc.

Kaiba: Why is she cussing more that usual?

Kyoko: (respectfully) HE'S coming...

Neji: Who?

Yugi: You wouldn't want to know. That's just you, though. His music is awesome.

ON AIR

Yuki: OK, now here on the show...

Kyoko: We have the KING OF MUSIC, who sold more than THE BEATLES. (A/N guess who.) MICHAEL JACKSON (straight jacket included)

Neji, Sasuke, Kaiba, and Naruto: O.O WTF?!?!?! WHY DID YOU BRING HIM?!?!?!?!

Yami: You got a problem with_ Thriller_,_ Beat It, Smooth Criminal,_ or_ The 80's _for that matter?!?! (recieves no's) Good. (Yuki and Kyoko wheel in MJ)

MJ: I don't get why I have to wear the jacket

Yugi: Can't take any chances.

MJ: Of what? Touching my nose and making it fall off?

Neji: Oh God! I didn't need to hear that!

MJ: Or me touch- (Yuki stuffs a banana in his mouth [A/N: XD )

Kyoko: OK, We brought him hear so he could sing _Beat It_ on the show.

Yugi: Kay, as long as he won't... ya know.

Starting the Show

(MJ starts to dance on the stage)

_They told him don't you ever come around here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it _

_You better run, you better do what you can  
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it _

_They're out to get you, better leave while you can  
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it _

_You have to show them that you're really not scared  
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
They'll kick you, then they beat you,  
Then they'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it _

_Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it _

_Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right _

_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it_

Cast: YAY!!!

Neji: O.o That was... pretty neat.

Kyoko: (kissing his cheek) told ya

Yuki: (wheels out MJ) OK now time for one of my least fav. people in the whole U.S. of A., GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!

G.B: I would like to say-

Kyoko: ok shut up.

G.B: O.O ... OK...

Yami: OK question time

Kaiba: What do you think of the war in Iraq?

G.B: We'll be able to get all of the troops out of Iraq in about-

Neji: In the news didn't you say in about 2010?

G.B: Yes

Naruto: TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE, BUSH!!!!

G.B: O.O ... OK...

Yuki: Next Question...

Sasuke: What do ya think of stem cell research?

G.B: I think---

Yuki: WRONG! (presses button that sends weak electricity into the Prez's chair; laughs maniacly)

Sasuke: Have you been hanging with Marik and Bakura again?

Yuki: (whines) So has Kyoko.

Neji: Wutevr. (drags unconscious Prez out of the room)

Yami: That's all we have so bye.

Yuki and Kyoko: Now we're selling limited time issues of Yu-Gi-Oh and Naruto! doujinshis! Yaoi, hentai, Shonenai, Yuri, Comedy, Romance, Non -romance! Just send $19.95 to 1-800-DOUJINS (1-800-368-5467) !!!!

OFF AIR

Yuki: I hope no one calls that fake number...

Kyoko: Or hates us for knocking out the President some people like

Yami: You guys got a call...

Neji: It's from the FBI/ Secret Service people.

Yuki + Kyoko: Shit


	3. Episode 3

Yuki: HI.

Kyoko: Hey peoples

Yuki: Here is Episode 3

Yugi, Yami, Kyoko, Yuki, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Kaiba,

Yuki: You know the (bleep)ing drill.

* * *

OFF AIR

Yuki: (In lounge) Guys, we have a problem.

Kyoko: What? Dontree (a gay sexual harasser at Yuki's school) said Yugioh sucks again? (Yuki gets pissed)

Yuki: IT DOESN'T SUCK!!! AND NO THAT WASN'T IT!

Neji: Then wut's the problem?

Yuki: One of the reviewers (MissYamiGirl411) asked for us to do a show about allergies, but in the midst of working with the FBI/Secret Service people so thry wouldn't sue my ass off, I didn't write out the script for the show. (starts bawling; is hugged by Kyoko trying to calm her down)

Yami: (assembles the other dudes in a huddle; Naruto is eating unknown food of unknown origin) Dudes, we gotta think of something.

Kaiba: Why don't we just improvise?

Sasuke: Nah, it would get too easy to get of the topic

Yugi: (looks at Naruto) HOLY SHIT!!!!

Neji: What? (looks at Naruto) OH GOD!!! (runs to bathroom to puke)

Sasuke: I think we just found our allergy topic.

Yami: (smirks) No wonder I like you Sasuke. (not that way)

ON AIR

Everyone walks in... except Naruto.

Kyoko: Hi, people out there. OK, if you saw us last time, you should've known that we almost got sued by the Secret Service. (all is silent) But we weren't, applause

Yuki: I think it was pretty obvious since we're still on the air. (looks around) Hey, where's Naruto?

Yugi: (ignores it) Anyway, for our reviewer MissYamiGirl411 (Yami: I'm not a girl!), we have a segment of allergies.

Yuki: Huh?

Neji: (ignores her) As you may know, allergies are when a certain thing isn't good to a person and makes them sick.

Kaiba: Well, one of our cast members had an allergic reaction that we would like to show on the show.

Sasuke: WARNING: This is NOT for the faint of heart... or people that will get pissed at us making fun of the person.

Yami: (comes in with a guy wearing a paper sack on his head; tries to get it off) OH MY RA TAKE THE (BEEP)ING THING OFF, NARUTO!!!

Naruto: NO!!!!! (tries shadow clone jutustu [spellcheck?; doesn't work knocks off bag int the process; Kyoko and Yuki gasp)

Naruto's face is swollen and is covered in hives. And... (use your imagination)

(WE ARE SORRY BUT THE REST OF THIS SEGMENT HAS BEEN EDITED OUT BY THE FCC... FOR CONTAINING BLOOD, GORE, AND THE FACT THAT NARUTO WOULD GET PISSED AT THE FCC IF THEY DIDN'T EDIT IT OUT)

Yami: (has a cast on his arm) OK we're back.

Sasuke: Yuki and Kyoko are about to tell us something very important about a website.

Yuki and Kyoko: (tears running down their cheeks) Okay... YOUTUBE IS DELETING ALL ANIME' VIDEOS!!!

All the guys: O-O WHAT?!?!?!

Yuki: It's true. (runs out of the room bawling)

Kyoko: (to audience) Only you can stop YouTube from doing this. Petition or something, that's what we're trying to do. JUST DON'T LET YOUTUBE DO THIS!!! (also runs out of the room bawling)

Yugi: Wow.

Kaiba: (to audience) SAVE ANIME'!

Neji: YEAH IT"S THE ONLY GOOD THING TO WATCH ON TV!!!! (no offense)

Naruto (his face is better): That's all we have for today. BYE!!!

* * *

STOP YOUTUBE FROM TAKING AWAY THE THINGS WE LOVE MOST THAT AREN'T FANFICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please ;-;


	4. Episode 4

Yuki: HOLY SHIT, DUDE!!! It has been such a long time.

Kyoko: Well, polish my nuts (if I had any walnuts) and serve me a milkshake! (quoting American Wedding)

Yuki: O.O What?!?! You Eiichi! (per-ervy-erv)

Kyoko: (ignores) Oh yea, I have a new account. It's : Aquarian-Alchemist-1337

Yami,Yugi,Kaiba,Naruto,Sasuke, and Neji: MO-FOS!!!! You've been gone since 4ever! (cry) You don't love us... (recieve ginormous hug)

Special Guest Star: Uchiha, Itachi (cue Itachi fangirls Yuki: BACK, BACK I SAY)

(Sasuke: Mother fuckin' roadside cock suckin, cum guzzlin', gutter Nazi whore of a son of a fat skanky bitch cunt of a preppy cheerleader, Why is he here?)

(SORY TO FANGIRLS: THIS CONTAINS... UCHIHA INCEST Fangirls: NOOO!!!! Uchiha-cest lovers: Fuck Yea!!!)

O.O Ok here we go...

* * *

OFF AIR 

Sasuke: (musing emoly)

Itachi: I'm cold. (hugs brother for warmth)

Sasuke: Get the fuck off me!

Itachi: Listen Sasuke in my own sick way this way supposed to help you.

Sasuke: How the fuck could killing our parents, traumatizing me for life, and stealing my klondike bar ever help me! You already had three that day! (leaves)

Itachi walks over to Yuki and Kyoko, who are helping Yami and Yugi prove that the Shadow Realm is the only place in existence where two people of the same sex can have children. (AN: I'm serious, it is.)

Kyoko: Yugi, put the fish net around your waist...

Yuki: The chocolate doesn't go there, Pharaoh, it goes on you.

Yami: But it feels so... chocolately...-silence-... I looooove chocolate. (stresses the 'love'.. XD)

Yuki: It doesn't matter, you're not gonna lick it off...

Yugi: That's my job, dammit.

Yami: And that's why I love you.

Itachi: O.O Uhh... Yuki, Kyoko...

Yuki: Itachi, I have a question, are you gay?

Kyoko: Just answer openly and honestly, or else why would you do all that for Sasuke and risk him hating you for life?

Itachi: Can we leave the room to talk about this?

Yuki: HELL NO!!! There are my two bisexual boyfriends (Yuki: Yami and Yugi, yea they're mine bitches) here, we don't have to leave. (hugs him) You're loved here!

Itachi: Ok fine I do love Sasuke.

Yugi: Of course, he's your brother.

Itachi: (blinks) Riiiight.

Yami: (grabs Yugi) TO THE SHADOW REALM (they dissappear)

ON AIR (shit that was a lot of off air) Sadly, none of the other characters besides the ones in the off-air are going to be in this episode.

Yuki: (singing mean things because she don't like the song)

_Well, Nobody's perfect I gotta work it_

_Again and again, till Miley Cyrus's career as a slut gets right_

_Nobody's perfect She lives and she sucks_ (literaly)

_Cuz' everybody makes mistakes And that's why she's rumored to be pregnant_ (stops singing)

Don't pay for her songs at rock bottom prices... except for "If We Were A Movie" for a dollar. That's a freaking deal (sorry if your a Hannah Montana fan)

Kyoko: hell yea... anyway

Suddenly Yami and Yugi flash onto the stage, fully clothed and carrying a stick of white plastic. The indicator is blue.

Yugi: Hey, guess what?

Yami: Aibou is pregnant! -kiss Yugi on cheek-

Yuki: O.O Does that mean I'm gonna be a mommy?

Yugi: YES!!! -kiss Yuki on cheek-

Yami: -to audience- We invite you people to the baby shower! -cue Puzzleshippers- (Yuki, Yami and Yugi: BACK, BACK WE SAY!!)

Kyoko: O.O Otay... well, here on this episode thingy we have a special guest... ITACHI UCHIHA!! -cue fangrils-

Sasuke leads in Itachi, a blush on his face.

Yuki: Again Itachi, I ask you do you love Sasuke?

Itachi: (grabs Sasuke from the waist and pushes him against the wall, ravishing his taste and feel)

Uchiha-cest lovers: HHHHEEEELLLLLLLL YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kyoko: Okay we'll pick up next time on the show

Yuki: Bye!!! -to Puzzleshippers- betr cum (ha ha cum) 2 the baby showr or i'll kil u all if u knu bout it n didn cum (ha ha cum)

* * *

COME TO YUGI'S BABY SHOWER OR I WILL HURT YOU!!!!!!!!!!

How can I hurt people over the Internet?


End file.
